I started to understand how Stalin managed to make himself a god. He did not have a single human characteristic… . Even when he exhibited some emotions, they all did not seem to belong to him. They were as false as the scale on top of armor. And behind this scale was Stalin himself-a piece of steel. For some reason I was convinced that he would live forever…. He was not human at all…
Rosa [his wife) says he makes her climb a tree wearing nothing but stockings. I have a feeling he is not human at all. He is too unusual to be a regular human being. Although he looks like an ordinary man. Such a puzzle. What is it I’m writing? Am I raving mad, too?
Stalin described to Kaganovitch his spiritual exercise. Believers of various religions engage in the practice of meditation on what is beautiful, wise, and good, to help them become more loving. Stalin indulged in just the opposite practice.
He told Kaganovitch:
When I have to say good-bye to someone, I picture this person on all fours and he becomes disgusting. Sometimes I feel attached to a person who should be removed for the good of the cause. What do you think I do? I imagine this person shitting, exhaling stench, farting, vomiting – and I don’t feel sorry for this person. The sooner he stops stinking on this earth, the better. And I cross this person out of my heart.
One of Stalin’s amusements was to put green glasses on the eyes of horses to make them see hay as grass. Even worse, he put dark glasses of atheism on the eyes of men to keep them from seeing God’s pastures, reserved for believing souls.
The diary contains many revealing insights:
Many times Stalin spoke of religion as our most vicious enemy. He hates religion for many reasons, and I share his feelings. Religion is a cunning and dangerous enemy… Stalin also thinks that separation from children should be the main punishment for all parents belonging to sects, irrespective of whether they were convicted or not.
I think he secretly engaged in astrology. One peculiar feature of his always astonished me. He always talked with some veiled respect about God and religion. At first, I thought I was imagining it, but gradually I realized it was true. But he was always careful when the subject came up. And I was never able to find out exactly what his point of view was. One thing became very clear to me – his treatment of God and religion was very special. For example, he never said directly there was no God. . .
People ceased somehow to be their own selves in his presence. They all admired him and worshiped him. I don’t think he enjoyed any great love of the nation: he was above it. It may sound strange, but he occupied a position previously reserved only for God.
Part and parcel of the tragedy of human existence is the fact that one has enemies and is sometimes obliged to fight them. Marx took delight in this sad necessity. His favorite saying, which he often repeated, was, “There is nothing more beautiful in the world than to bite one’s enemies.”
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