“I’ve no wild animals for the purpose,” I said curtly, prepared at the same time to receive a goblet thrown at me or a kick in the stomach. Such actions were of no importance, for as long as Nero could find an outlet for his rage in physical violence, he would calm down and soon be placated.
But this time he turned quieter than ever, and, pale with anger, he stared at me.
“Was it not I who once appointed you superintendent of the menagerie?” he asked coldly. “Are they your animals or mine?”
“The menagerie is unquestionably yours even if I have spent a great deal of money of my own on the buildings there,” I said. “This I can prove. But the animals are my own personal property. In the State accounts and in your own accounts you can see for yourself that I have sold the necessary animals to the hunting games, and for the displays of trained animals I have debited a fee in accordance with the value of the show. I neither sell nor hire out my wild animals for what you now want them. Neither you nor even the Senate can force me against my will to hand over my private property to satisfy a merciless whim of yours. Roman law secures that right. Am I not correct?”
The lawyers and the senators nodded uneasily. Nero suddenly smiled at me in a wholly friendly manner.
“We were just discussing you too, my dear Minutus,” he said. “I defended you as best I could, but you are very much involved in the Christian superstition. You know much too much about it. Also, last summer during the fire, you stole a valuable and irreplaceable horse from my stables on Palatine and never returned it. I have not reminded you of this, for Nero is not small-minded whatever else can be said of him. But is it not strange that your house alone was spared in Aventine? It is also said that you have remarried without telling me. Don’t be afraid. There are many reasons for keeping a marriage secret. But I rather mind when it is said of a friend of mine that his wife is a Christian. And you said yourself that you have taken part in their secret meals. I hope that here among friends you can immediately clear yourself of such tiresome charges.”
“Gossip is gossip,” I protested desperately. “One would think that you at least, yes, you more than anyone, my lord, would despise unfounded slander. I did not think you ever listened to such things.”
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“But you force me to, Minutus,” said Nero mildly. “You put me, as your friend, in a very difficult position. It is politically necessary to punish the Christians swiftly and thoroughly. Or would you prefer to accuse me of setting fire to Rome, as certain senators, owing to an inherited envy, are doing behind my back? You oppose the punishment I wish for the Christians. You must know that your reluctance is of a political nature. I cannot see it as anything else but a demonstration against myself as regent. You presumably don’t wish to force me, your friend, to condemn you as a Christian, naturally not to the wild animals, but to lose your head because you are an enemy to mankind and to me. That would presumably be the only way to acquire your property legally for the State. Do you really love the Christians and your wild animals more than myself or your own life?”
He smiled, pleased with himself, knowing he had trapped me. For the sake of form, I still hesitated, but I thought quickly as I did so. In my defense, I must plead that I was thinking more of Claudia and my unborn child, that is you, Julius, than myself. At least, I gave some thought to you both.
Finally I gave in.
“We could, of course,” I said, “dress some of the prisoners in bearskins and wolfskins. Perhaps the hounds would attack them if they smelled the scent of wild animals. But you don’t give me much breathing space, my lord, to arrange a good display.”
They all burst into relieved laughter and no further mention was made of my connection with the Christians. Perhaps Nero had wished only to frighten me and not deliberately threaten me. But he had commantleered my animals all the same, for the menagerie’s accounts would not stand up to a thorough scrutiny as I had debited my expenditure to both the State treasury and to Nero’s own fiscus, as far as their resources would go.
I think that Nero would in any case have had my animals at his disposal whatever had happened to me. So I still consider I did the only possible thing. I cannot see what good it would have done the Christians or myself if from sheer obstinacy I had allowed my head to be cut off. When I made the decision, of course I had no idea of my father’s intentions in connection with this deplorable story.
It would have been useless to resist. By the time the evening stars were out, Nero had already had his heralds announce the feast day in the remaining parts of the city and had called the people to a spectacle in the circus on Vatican. The procession of Christians had not then reached there.
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