When I had gone so far, one day to my surprise, Claudia brought the matter up. In a roundabout and involved way she questioned me until she at least realized that I was not going to run straight to Nero to report what she had to say. She was both relieved and surprised when I smiled pityingly and told her that I had long since taken an oath to overthrow the tyrant for the sake of the freedom of the fatherland.
“I can’t imagine why they took a man like you,” said Claudia. “They had better act quickly or their plans will be known everywhere. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard. I’d never have believed it, even of you. Are you really prepared to betray Nero just like that, when he’s done so much for you and regards you as his friend?”
Retaining my dignity, I remarked gendy that it had been Nero’s own conduct that had made me think of the common good rather than of a friendship which had injured me in many ways. Personally I had not suffered much from the monetary reforms, thanks to my own watchfulness. But the weeping of widows and orphans echoed in my ears, and when I thought of the miseries of the country people and the small craftsmen I was prepared to sacrifice my honor if necessary on the altar of the fatherland, for the good of all the Roman people.
I had kept my opinions from Claudia because I had been afraid that she would try to stop my fearlessly risking my life for freedom. Now I hoped that she would at last understand that I had kept silent about my activities to avoid dragging her into these dangerous conspiracies.
Claudia was still suspicious, for she knew me well. But she had to admit I had done the right thing. After hesitating for a long time, she herself had thought of persuading me, if necessary even of forcing me, to join the conspiracy for the sake of my own and your future.
“You must have noticed that I have not bothered you with the Christians for a long time,” said Claudia. “There is no longer any reason why they should be allowed to meet secretly in our house. They have their own safe places, so it is not necessary to expose my son Clement to that danger, even if I myself am not afraid to admit I am a Christian. And the Christians have shown themselves to be weak and indecisive. To get rid of Nero would be to their advantage and would at the same time be a kind of Christian vengeance for his evil deeds. But just imagine, they won’t have anything to do with the conspiracy, although it looks as if it could not fail. I don’t understand them any longer. They just say one must not kill and that revenge is not theirs.”
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“Good god of Hercules,” I said in astonishment. “Are you mad? Only a woman would take it into her head to involve the Christians in something in which there are already too many contributors. No one would want them in anyhow, I can assure you. That would force the new Emperor to promise them privileges beforehand. The independent position of the Jews is more than enough already.”
“One can always ask,” snapped Claudia. “It would do no harm. But they say that they have never become involved in politics before and are thinking of obeying the legal ruler in the future, whoever he is. They have their own kingdom which will come, but I’m beginning to tire of waiting for it. As a daughter of Claudius and the mother of my son, I must think a little about the earthly powers too. I think Cephas is cowardly, always going on about obedience and keeping out of State affairs. The invisible kingdom is a fine and good thing. But since becoming a mother, I have become remote from it and feel more like a Roman than a Christian. These confusing circumstances offer us the best possible chance to change the world, now that everyone wants nothing but peace and order.”
“What do you mean by changing the world?” I asked distrustfully. “Are you bravely prepared to hurl thousands, perhaps millions of people into starvation, misery and violent death just to create a favorable political climate for your son until he receives his toga?”
“The republic and freedom are values for which many brave men have been prepared to sacrifice their lives,” said Claudia. “My father Claudius often spoke with great respect of the republic and had been prepared to bring it back if only it had been possible. He said so many a time in his long speeches in the Curia when he complained of the heavy burden of an absolute ruler.”
“You yourself have many a time said that your father was a crazy, unjust and cruel old man,” I said angrily. “Remember the first time we met, when you spat on his statue in the library? To reinstate the republic is an impossible idea. It hasn’t enough support. The question is only who shall be Emperor. Piso thinks I’m much too insignificant and no doubt you think so too. Whom had you thought of?”
Claudia stared thoughtfully at me.
“What do you say to Seneca?” she said, with feigned innocence. At first the idea dumbfounded me.
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