Then they all shouted, “You are our King and the lord of the four corners of the world! Don’t you see that yourself, you fool?” Again they bowed to him, and one of them wore a lion’s skin and lied down on his feet and growled and roared and stretched his body under the skin in many funny ways. Kaptah contemplated for a moment and became doubtful. Finally he said, “If I am indeed king, it is worth a drink. Make haste, therefore, to bring in wine, you servants, if any is to be found here, or my stick shall dance on your backs, and I shall have you hung from the walls since I am the King. Bring a great quantity of wine, for these gentlemen and friends who have made me King shall drink with me, while I myself mean to bathe up to my neck in wine.”
His words evoked great rejoicing, and the shouting throng dragged him to a vast hall where many luscious dishes were set forth as well as much wine. Each one took what he fancied, and Burnaburiash donned a servant’s apron and dashed about like a clown, stumbling over people’s feet and spilling wine and sauce over their clothes so that many swore and flung gnawed bones at him. In all the outer courtyards food and drink were offered to the mob, and whole oxen and sheep were quartered there, and the populace could scoop beer and wine from the clay pools and stuff themselves with a porridge prepared with cream and sweet dates. As the sun rose higher, such indescribable tumult and brawl — shouting, laughing and riot — prevailed within the palace that I could not believe my eyes how this was possible.
As soon as opportunity offered, I approached Kaptah and said to him privately, “Kaptah, follow me, let us fly unobserved, for no good can come of this.” But Kaptah had drunk wine, and his belly was swollen with good food, and he said to me, “Your words are as the buzz of flies in my ear for never did I hear such witless talk. Am I to go now when all these good people have made me King and bow before me? This must be caused by the scarab, that I know; and not just the scarab but all my good qualities that only these people have fully recognised. I think it is not appropriate that you call me Kaptah like I was a slave or a servant and speak so freely to me, but you have to bow to me like everyone else does.” But I adjured him and said, “Kaptah, Kaptah, this is nothing but a jest and you will pay for it dearly. Escape as you can, and I will forgive you your impudence.”
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But Kaptah wiped the grease from his mouth and shouted, shaking a gnawed donkey bone at me, “Take away this dirty Egyptian before I lose my temper and let my stick dance on his back!” Then the man dressed as a lion jumped at me roaring and bit me on my leg and scratched my face with his nails. It might have gone ill with me, but at that moment a horn was sounded, and a man announced that it was now time for the king to go down and dispense justice to his people, whereupon I was forgotten.
Kaptah was somewhat taken aback when they began to lead him toward the House of Justice and said that he was content to leave the business to the appointed judges who were sound men whom he trusted. But the people objected strongly and shouted, “We will witness the King’s wisdom to prove to ourselves that he is the right King and knows the laws.” So Kaptah was lifted to the throne of justice and the symbols of justice — scourge and fetters — were laid before him, and the people were called on to step forward and lay their cases before the King. First plunged at Kaptah’s feet a man who had torn his clothes and sprinkled ashes on his hair. He wiped his face on the ground in front of Kaptah’s feet and cried and yelled:
“There is none as wise as our King, the lord of the four corners of the world. Therefore, I ask for justice and this is my case: I have a wife whom I married four years ago, and we have no children, but now has my wife become pregnant. However, yesterday I learned that my wife is unfaithful to me with a soldier — I even surprised them in the act — but the soldier was big and strong so that there was nothing I could do to him, and now is my liver full of sorrow and doubt, since how can I know if the child when he is born is my child or fathered by that soldier. Therefore I ask for justice from the King and want to know for sure, is the child mine or of the soldier, so that I can act accordingly.”
Kaptah was silent and looked about hastily, but then he said decisively, “Bring sticks and beat that man so that he remembers this day.” The servants of justice caught him and beat him so that he moaned and yelled and pleaded to people, saying, “Is this justice?” Also the crowd started murmuring and asked for explanation. Then Kaptah said:
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