have already been stained with cow dung. Therefore I must banish you from Egypt, Sinuhe, and never again shall you see the land of Kem, for if I allowed you to remain, the day would come when I would have to put you to death, and that I do not wish to do because you were once my friend. Your mad words might be the spark to kindle the dry reeds, and once those dry reeds have caught fire, they blaze away to ashes. Sometimes ill words are more dangerous than spears, and I will purify the land of Kem of ill words, like a good gardener picks the weeds from his vegetable bed — I understand well the Hittites who impale all witches by their roadsides. I will not allow the land of Kem to burn in flames again, neither for the sake of men nor for the sake of gods, and that is why I banish you, Sinuhe, for I doubt you are a true Egyptian, but some strange crossbreed of mixed blood so that sick notions dwell in your sick head.”
It may be that he was right, and the reason of my heart’s torment was how the sacred blood of Pharaohs was mixed in my blood with the dying blood of Mitanni which was pale from the sunset of an era. Yet his words made me giggle, and to be polite, I put a hand over my mouth to control my giggling. His words scared me greatly, for Thebes was my city, and I was born and grew up in Thebes, and I desired to live nowhere else. However, my laughter deeply insulted Horemheb who had expected me to fall prostrate on my face before him and beg for his mercy. He waved the Pharaoh’s whip and shouted:
“So be it. I banish you from Egypt forever, and when you die, not even your body can be brought to Egypt for burial, though I permit it to be preserved according to good custom. It shall be buried by the shore of the eastern sea, from which ships put forth for the land of Punt, and that is to be your place of exile for I cannot send you to Syria, since Syria is still a glowing pile of charcoal and need no bellows; nor can I exile you to the land of Kush since you affirm that the colour of man’s skin has no significance and that Egyptians and black men are of equal worth — and you might instil foolish ideas into the black men’s heads. But the land by the seashore is deserted, and you may make your speeches to the red waves, and you may make your speeches to the black wind of the desert, and from the rocks you may preach to jackals, crows and serpents as much as you please. Guards shall measure out
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your domain, and if you stray outside these bounds, they shall slay you with their spears. Save for this, you shall lack nothing, and your bed shall be soft and your food abundant, and whatever reasonable request you have, it will be sent over to you, for indeed loneliness is punishment enough, and I don’t want to oppress you otherwise, because you were once my friend, as long as my purpose is fulfilled and I am free from your mad talk.”
I did not dread the loneliness since all my life I had been alone and was born to be lonely, but my heart melted in sadness to think that never more should I behold Thebes or feel the soft mud of the land of Kem beneath my feet nor drink the water of the Nile. Therefore I said to Horemheb:
“I don’t have many friends, for men shun me because of my bitterness and my sharp tongue, but you will surely allow me to take leave of them. I would gladly take my leave of Thebes also and walk once more along the Avenue of Rams to breathe the perfume of sacrificial smoke among the colourful pillars of the great Temple and to smell the fried fish at dusk in the poor quarter when wives light fires before the mud huts and men come home with their backs tired.”
Horemheb would assuredly have granted my request if I had wept before him and prostrated myself on my face at his feet, for he was a very vain man and perhaps the main reason for his bitterness towards me was that I did not admire him nor recognise him as the true Pharaoh in my heart. But even if I was a weak man and had a sheep’s heart, I would not humble myself before him, for learning should not humble itself in the face of the power. Therefore I put my hand before my mouth and hid my fear and panic in yawning, for I had ever been overcome by drowsiness when most afraid, and in this I believe I differ from other men. Then Horemheb said:
“I shall permit no needless farewells or lingering, since I am a warrior myself and a direct man, and I don’t fancy tenderness. I will make your departure easy and send you on your way at once, and I don’t want any riots or demonstrations for your sake, since you are known in Thebes and better known than perhaps you are aware. You need to leave in a closed chair, but if anyone desires to accompany you to your place of banishment, I will allow it. Nevertheless, he must stay
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