As a sign of his trust, his officers stood behind him with drawn swords and the soldiers who guarded the tent door had their spears directed at my back. But I feigned to notice nothing of this, but bowing to the ground before him, I said:
“My mistress, princess Beketamun, is one of the fairest women in Egypt. Because of her sacred blood, she has preserved her virginity, although she is some years older than yourself, but her beauty is timeless, her face is like the moon, and her eyes oval like lotus flowers. As a physician, I can assure you that her loins are fit for childbearing although narrow, like those of all Egyptian women. For the sake of all this, she has sent me to meet you to satisfy herself that your royal blood is worthy of her sacred blood and that you can fulfil the bodily requirements of a husband without causing her any disappointment since she awaits you with impatience, having never in her life known a man.”
Prince Zannanza threw out his chest and raised his elbows to shoulder level to display the muscles of his arms and said to me, “My arms can draw the strongest bow, and with the grip of my calves, I can squeeze the breath from an ass. There is no fault to be found with my face, as you may see, and I cannot even remember when I was last ill.”
I said to him, “You are indeed an inexperienced youth and ignorant of the customs of Egypt if you think that an Egyptian princess is a bow to be drawn or a donkey to be gripped between the calves. This is far from being the case, and it is clear that I must give you a few lectures in the Egyptian arts of love, that you may not put yourself in shame in the eyes of the princess. My mistress was indeed well advised to send me hither so that as a physician I may initiate you into the customs of Egypt.”
My words sorely insulted prince Zannanza, for he was a proud youth and like all Hittites took pride of his virility. His officers burst out laughing, and this still further insulted him so that he whitened in fury and ground his teeth. But he sought to maintain the suave Egyptian manner, and he said as composedly as he could:
“I am no inexperienced boy as you seem to think, but my spear has already pierced many leather bags. I do not think that your princess will be ill content when I teach her the arts of the land of Hatti.”
711
I said to him, “I readily believe in your strength, my lord, but you must have been mistaken when you said you could not remember when you last were ill, since as a physician I can see by your eyes and your cheeks that you are sick, and as a physician I know that your stomach has gone soft and troubles you.”
Ultimately, there is no human being who does not end up believing he is sick when it is assured to him at length and constantly and he starts listening to himself. Deep down, everyone feels the desire to be pampered and tended by others, and doctors of every age have been aware of this and have used this knowledge to greatly enrich themselves. But I had the further advantage of knowing that the desert springs contained lye which loosens the bowels of those who are not seasoned to desert waters. Thus prince Zannanza was greatly astonished at my words and cried:
“You are certainly mistaken, Sinuhe the Egyptian, for I feel in no way ill, although I must admit that my bowels have been in flux and have had to squat by the roadside all day long during the course of my journey. But how you know this, I cannot think, and you must certainly be more skilled than my own physician, who has taken no note whatever of my disorder.” He listened to himself and felt his eyes and forehead and said, “In truth, I do feel a burning in my eyes after staring all day at the red sand of the desert, and my forehead also is hot, and I am not as well as I could wish.”
I said to him, “It would be well for your physician to give you a medicine to ease your stomach and give you a good sleep. The stomach ailments of the desert are troublesome, and I know that a great number of Egyptians died of stomach problems on their march to Syria. And no one knows the origin of these complaints, but some say that they are born of the poisonous desert winds and some blame the water and others the locusts. But I do not doubt that tomorrow you will be well again and able to continue your journey if your physician will mix you a good medicine this evening.”
712
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384