Kaptah made yet a louder outcry and shouted, “She will sell me for a porter or a quarryman so that my lungs will be choked, and blood will spurt from under my nails, and I shall perish in the mud like a mangled donkey.”
In my heart, I knew that this might be the truth, for in the house of Nefernefernefer there would scarcely be houseroom and bread for such as he. Tears fell from my eyes, also, though I didn’t know whether I wept for him or for myself. When Kaptah saw this, he fell silent at once and stared at me aghast. But I bowed my head in my hands and cared not that my slave should see me weep. Touching my head with his broad hand, he said ruefully:
“This is all my fault because I should have kept better watch over my lord. But I did not dream he was so white and pure like a cloth before its first washing — for that alone would explain it. I marvelled, indeed, that my lord never sent me out for a girl when he came back at night from the wine tavern, and the women I sent you for your pleasure went peevishly away, calling me rat and carrion crow. And there were relatively young and even beautiful women among them. But my trouble was wasted, and like a blockhead I rejoiced, thinking you would never bring a wife into your house to cuff me on the head and throw scalding water over my feet whenever she had quarrelled with you. Fool, blockhead that I was! It is the first firebrand that burns down the reed hut.”
He also said, “Why did not you come to me in your inexperience, my lord, for I have seen much and I know a lot, though you think otherwise. A while it may be, but I have also slept with women, and I assure you, that bread and beer and a full stomach are better than the embrace of even the most beautiful woman. Oh, my lord, when a man goes to a woman, he must carry a stick, for otherwise the woman will control him and bind him in chains that bite his flesh like a thin thread and chafe his heart like a stone in sandal chafes the foot. By Amun, my lord, had you brought women to your house at night, we would have been saved from all this. Why waste time in wine taverns and pleasure houses if a woman enslaves you?”
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He also said much more, until the sound of his voice was as the buzz of flies in my ears. At length, he ceased and prepared food for me and poured water over my hands. But I could not eat, for my body was on fire, and when evening came, one thought alone filled my mind.
Kaptah ate a lot and emptied a jar of beer and sang sad songs; he tore his hair and sprinkled himself with ash from the kitchen, until he fell asleep. But I could not sleep, so restless was my body. I went for a walk in the dark and wandered around the Temple of Bastet, and I saw the torches burning in front of Nefernefernefer’s house, and joyous guests got off from carrying chairs and entered her house. But I did not dare to visit her, because she had forbidden me. So I wandered around the temple, and my thoughts were poisonous as a snake and bit my flesh. Girls took me by the sleeve and laughed and whispered to me in the dark, until finally in my despair I followed one of them. She asked a present from me, and I gave her my last pieces of copper and followed her to the wall of the Temple of Bastet, where she laid down and opened her arms for me. But I could not touch her, even if I wanted to, and the smell of urine was all around the temple wall. The girl came after me and spat after me and cursed me.
I returned home exhausted like I had been whipped, but my bed was like a fiery oven and I moaned in my sleep. In the morning, I cleaned myself, dressed up and anointed my face to return to Nefernefernefer’s house, for I felt I would die if I could not see her and touch her hand. Kaptah’s eyes were red from tears and beer, and he shook his ashy hair and prostrated in front of me to stop me from going. But I hardened my heart and kicked him with my foot to release myself, though it would have been better if I hadn’t gone.
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