Then Pharaoh Akhenaten laughed in a pitying manner as any sensible Egyptian would have laughed to hear such talk, and he said, “For as long as we can remember, not one single enemy has set foot within our borders, and none would dare for Egypt is the wealthiest and mightiest of all kingdoms upon earth. But to calm you down for having such nightmares, let me tell you that the Hittites are nothing but barbarians who herd cows on poor mountains, and our allies in Mitanni are our shield against them. I have also sent the cross of life to King Suppiluliuma and at his own request gold so that he can erect a life-size figure of me in his temple. Therefore he will not disturb the peace of Egypt since he may have gold of me whenever he asks it, though people complain about taxes, and I would not like to burden them with taxes.”
The veins in Horemheb’s forehead swelled, but having by now learned to master his feelings, he said no more and followed me when I told him that as a physician I could no longer allow him to weary Pharaoh. But when we reached my house, he slapped himself sharply on the thigh with his golden whip, saying, “By Seth and all devils! A dung cake left by a cow on the road is of more use than his cross of life. Yet certainly of all things, the maddest is that when he looks me in the eye, lays his hand on my shoulder and calls me his friend, I believe in his truth, although I know but too well that he is wrong and I am right. In the name of Seth and all devils, he is charged full of power within this city, which is as painted and colourful as a harlot and smells like one too. Truly, if one might bring before him every human being in the world, for him to speak to each of them, touch them with his gentle fingers and pour his strength into them, I believe that he might change the world, but it is not possible.”
To amuse him, I said that perhaps that would not be possible, and he got excited and said, “If it was possible, it would be worthwhile to have a great war so that I could bring every man, woman and child before him and let him pour his strength into them and renew their hearts. Truly, if I stayed long in this place, I should begin to grow breasts like the court’s men and perhaps start breast-feeding the children.”
He put his scribe to count out how long would it take if everyone in the world would step before Pharaoh, and, in the meantime, I went to the artist house of our friend Thutmose, for Horemheb had not forgotten his promise to sculpt a statue, and I knew there were good wines in
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Thutmose’s cellar. The windows of his house opened to the north, and his rooms had a lot of light, and he had several slaves and students who helped him in his work so that his garden was like a quarry full of various stones, and the air in his rooms was thick from dried up colours and dust from cut stones. He approached us, hair and face wet from sweat and his eyes glowing, and he said that Queen Nefertiti was sitting as his model and he could not be disturbed. But hearing our voices, Nefertiti allowed us to stay and watch her, for it brought her more pleasure the more men watched her and admired her beauty. Thutmose’s servant poured us wine, and also Nefertiti drank with us to gladden her heart. In a spoiled way, she raised her beautiful arm on her bosom and looked Horemheb with her bright eyes and said:
“I have often wondered, Horemheb, why you don’t take a wife for yourself even if many court women sigh for your sake. Amuse me by telling me why that is so, for I sit uncomfortably, and this Thutmose is tedious and looks at me coldly and claims my cheeks have become thinner so that I get ugly in his eyes.”
Her question confused Horemheb greatly, and his face went dark, but he got some time to contemplate his answer as Thutmose dropped his chisel and hammer on the floor and started weeping from weariness and said, “Truly this royal she-cat makes me mad with her words, and from day to day she claws my heart with her nails well knowing that anyone who has once laid his eyes on her can only think of her beauty furthermore. For the sake of Aten, please leave me in peace, you terrible woman, for I have already sculpted you five times in different stones, and fever consumes me when I look at your face and shape and slender neck, and the stone does not live in my hands any more. Nefertiti, next time, I will sculpt you from wood, I will sculpt you and your crown from hard wood so that I can paint your colours on wood because maybe in wood you live better than in stone. After your cheeks have become thinner, you are more beautiful and soulful than ever before — and no woman has ever before carried the Queen’s crowns better than you.”
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