The Egyptian by Mika Waltari

Posted by admin_akashic on Mar 4th, 2022 in Stories

physician has come there who heals the sick without payment, painlessly and with great skill, and who gives copper to skinny mothers and performs beautifying operations on penniless girls from the pleasure houses requiring no gifts. Hasten thither to him for who comes first gets most, and soon he will be such a poor man that is obliged to sell his house and go elsewhere unless he is closed to a dark room and leeches put under his knees. But there the blockheads are wrong: for by good fortune you have gold, which I shall cunningly set to work for you so that never in your life you need to suffer want but may eat goose every day if you wish and drink the best wine and still prosper — provided you are content to remain in this modest house. But since you never conduct yourself as others do, I shall not be surprised to wake one morning with ashes in my hair because you have thrown your gold into a well and sold the house and me with it for the sake of the restlessness of your heart. Truly, it would not astonish me, and therefore, my lord, it would be as well to record on paper that I am free to come and go as I please and to dispatch this paper to the royal archives for the spoken word is forgotten and vanishes, but paper endures forever if it bears your seal in clay and you offer suitable gifts to the King’s scribes. I have a special reason for this request of mine, but I shall not at this time trouble your head and waste your time with it.”

It was a mild evening in spring, and the fires of dung crackled before the mud huts, and from the harbour the wind bore the scent of cedar wood loads and of the perfumed waters of Syria. The fragrance of the acacias blended sweetly in my nose with the reek of fried fish which dominated the poor’s quarter in the evenings. I had eaten goose prepared in the Theban manner and drunk wine, and I felt myself light, and the wine separated the heavy thoughts, longing and sorrow from my heart somewhere far behind a veil. I bade Kaptah pour wine for himself also in an earthenware cup, and I said to him:

“You are free, Kaptah, and have long been so as you know, for notwithstanding your impudence you have been my friend rather than my slave since the day when you lent me silver and copper, believing that you would never see it again. Be free, Kaptah, and become happy, and of that shall the King’s scribes tomorrow make out the legal papers upon which I will affix both my Egyptian and my Syrian seals. But tell me now in what manner you have invested my fortune and gold since you say that gold works for me though I earned nothing. Didn’t you take the gold to the Temple coffers as I bade you?

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“No, my lord!” said Kaptah severely and looked honestly at me straight in the eyes with his one eye. “I did not do your bidding as it was a foolish order, and I have never obeyed your foolish orders but have acted according to my own good sense, and I can safely tell you this now that I am free and you have drunk wine in moderation and will not be angry. Moreover, knowing your hasty and thoughtless nature, which age has not yet mellowed, I have taken the precaution of hiding your stick. I tell you this so that you may not attempt to find it when I have begun to relate what I have done. Only simpletons send their gold to the Temple for safekeeping, for the Temple pays them nothing for it but rather exacts gifts for hiding it in their cellars and setting a guard to protect it from thieves. But this is also foolish because that way the taxation department knows the amount of your gold, with the result that it dwindles rapidly away where it lies until there is none left. The only reasonable purpose in amassing gold is to put it out to work so that one may sit with folded hands and chew lotus seeds roasted in salt to induce a pleasurable thirst. I have run about the city all day on my stiff legs to inquire as to the best manner of placing your funds in Thebes, while you took your walks to temples and sights. Thanks to my thirst I learned a great deal. Among other things I learned is that the wealthy no longer invest their gold in Temple cellars for it is said that gold is not safe there and if that is so then gold is not safe anywhere in the land of Egypt. I also learned that Amun is selling land.”

“Therein you lie,” I said passionately and stood up for the mere notion was absurd. “Amun never sells land but buys land. Amun has always bought and now owns one fourth of all the soil of the black land, and what Amun has once held he will never relinquish.”

“Of course, of course,” said Kaptah soothingly, pouring more wine into my glass beaker and without noticing it also into his own earthenware cup. “Every sensible man knows that land is the only property that endures and maintains its value, provided one remains on good terms with the land surveyors and has the wit to reward them after each flood time. Nevertheless it is true that Amun is selling land hastily

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