The Egyptian by Mika Waltari

Posted by admin_akashic on Mar 4th, 2022 in Stories

made for his tomb, and it was more workmanlike and more complicated Book of the Dead than I had ever seen before; it contained twelve scrolls of pictures, text and spells to pacify the spirits of the underworld and to put false weights in the scales of Osiris and to bribe the rightful baboons. He did all this because he thought certainty is best, but other than that, death wasn’t really in his mind, as he respected our scarab more than any other god.

But I was glad for Kaptah’s sake that he was rich and happy, and I was glad for everyone’s sake if they were happy and content, so I didn’t seek any more to deprive them of their dreams if dreams made them happy. The human life is in many ways built of dreams. Therefore truth is seen as bad and salty to men, and many would rather be killed than to have their dreams broken. Therefore I didn’t purposely want to break the dreams of men, if they were happy dreaming and didn’t do any harm for their dreams’ sake but merely settled for dreaming.

But no dream cooled my own forehead, nor did joy bring peace to my heart, nor did my work satisfy me — although during these years, I worked a lot and tended many people and even opened some skulls, and they all healed except for three who died so that I got a great reputation as a skull opener. But I lived in continual discontent, and perhaps Muti taught me her bitterness, or I was infected by her nagging, so that I constantly reproached all people who I met. I nagged at Kaptah for his gluttony, and I reproached the poor for their sloth and the rich for their selfishness and the judges for their indifference, and I was satisfied with no one and bitterly mocked everyone. Sick people and children I however never chided but healed these patients without giving them needless pain while letting Muti distribute her honey cakes amongst the small boys of the street whose eyes reminded me of Thoth’s bright eyes.

Men said of me, “This Sinuhe is a tedious and bitter man, his liver is swollen, and gall bubbles out of his mouth as he speaks so that he has aged prematurely and can find no delight in life. Also his evil deeds pursue him so that at night he finds no rest. Let us be nice to him and ignore his words, for his tongue stings himself more viciously than it stings others.”

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And it was true for whenever I had nagged for a while, I suffered for the sake of my own bitterness: I wept, gave grains to a sloth, tookoff my garment to dress up a drunk man, asked forgiveness from the rich for my reproach, and again believed in the sincerity of the judges. This happened because I was still weak and could not change my nature.

But I spoke malignantly of Horemheb also, and all his deeds were evil in my eyes, and most ill I spoke of were his dung snouts, whom he maintained out of Pharaoh’s stores and who led an idle life — boasting of their valiant deeds in beer taverns and pleasure houses, breaking some skulls and limbs in fights, and violating the daughters of the poor so that no woman could walk safely in the streets of Thebes. Horemheb forgave his dung snouts all they did and always saw them in a good light. If the poor turned to him with complaints about their daughters’ plight, he told them that they should be proud because his men were inseminating Egypt with sturdy blood and gave them no other attention. Horemheb had started to hate women and regarded bearing children as their only task and didn’t see any other value in them.

Those who wished well of me, warned me often about talking ill of Horemheb aloud, and they covered my mouth with their hand when I spoke ill of him in public places with a loud voice — they feared for me and feared for themselves, shunning me and leaving me alone. As time went by, Horemheb grew ever more suspicious of everyone and wanted to know everything that people said of him, so that there was no public place nor wine tavern without Horemheb’s ear listening to people’s talk and complaints. I have to admit that it was this way that many wrongdoings that people never dared to complain about openly came to Horemheb’s attention, and he punished the wrongdoers severely. But those who dared criticise his doings suffered ever more severely, with many having their backs flogged bloodily while many were sent to the mines and quarries for their evil tongue, and some were thrown to the crocodiles as witches. Horemheb’s ears were maintained out of Pharaoh’s treasury so that they benefited nothing from turning people in or from inheriting the fortunes of the men they ruined. Thus some were able to save themselves by giving presents to Horemheb’s ears or by making them drink a lot of wine, and the poor saved themselves by letting their wives and daughters rejoice with them so that Horemheb’s ears spent an idle and joyful life and served their master anxiously.

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